At a Loss After the Win

I've spent the morning clawing my way through racial epithets directed at my president and his supporters.  I've dodged accusations of being a sheep, a coward, and one of the instruments Satan is employing to bring down the United States.  I've read how people are going to apply for food stamps and welfare and Obama phones and help finish what I, an America hater, have started.  I've seen people talk about how we are no longer a moral country.  I've read tweets from Southern men talking about secession, civil war, stringing people up.  (Worse, I've read tweets from Southern teenage girls saying the same thing.)

After slogging through it, I came across a site called White People Mourning Romney.  It's meant to be funny, but it jarred me, because I realized that, for whatever reason, people are actually afraid and in mourning.  Somehow, the democratic process that we cherish in this country has undone roughly half of our nation.  And that half is afraid.  And fear is the mind killer, y'all.  

I don't have advice for those people.  I am at a loss as to what to say to such legitimate grief and fear. 

I wanted to put up some advice to those of us who voted for the president describing how they can help the hurting fearful ones, but as I was writing the list out, I realized...there wasn't any point.  My advice--things like "be active in our communities, go to church, be kind"--is what so many of us do that I realized that it would sound ridiculous.   I don't need to tell my fellow liberals and progressives to be active, caring, responsible citizens because, by and large, we ARE.  

So here's what I want to say to my fellow citizens who are afraid and hurting:

I'm sorry that you think that I've killed our country.  I hope that if you think the end of the world is coming, it brings you peace.  I wish that I could give you a hug and invite you to my house for hot tea and some cookies.  We could watch the kids play in the backyard and talk about crocheting.  Or, since so many of you are so young and full of hate, I would give you some advice about applying to college.  Or treating your girlfriend better.  Or why the movie Friday is the perfect way to remember about seventeen literary devices .

I don't want to have to explain why I voted for the president.  It has to do with a lot of things:  my belief that my brother and friends should be able to get the same legal protection that Will and I have in our relationship, my belief that our environment is going to destroy us if we don't stop destroying it, my belief that your god shouldn't dictate my life if I don't want him to. It has nothing to do with hating my country.  

I'm sorry my vote has hurt you.  I mean that sincerely.  My vote was not about hurting anybody or denying anybody anything.  It was not about shirking my responsibility or encouraging others to do so.  It wasn't about food stamps or welfare or free cell phones.

I'm sorry you are afraid.  I'm sorry you are angry.  I remember feeling that way before because of an election.  I didn't think it meant the end of the world, but I remember thinking that the president would destroy our country.

The thing is, he didn't.  Bless his heart, I think he's an idiot, but he didn't destroy our country.  Our government CAN'T destroy our country.  We are the only ones who can do that.

It isn't the government calling people n-words.  That's us.  It isn't the government promising God's vengeance on our country.  That's us.  It isn't the government gloating about our victory.  That's us.  (The president cried in front of campaign volunteers as he thanked them.  We're posting pictures of Boehner crying with clever puns over his head.)  It isn't the government talking about shooting people for their vote.  That's us.

The government isn't our problem.  We are our problem.  We have forgotten how to talk to each other.  We have become really bad at being good citizens.   We have become dependent on tragedies to make us see the good in each other.  We have allowed the luxuries we have to make us skeptical of those who want those luxuries.  We have forgotten that the sacrifices others made down the long line of history, the sacrifices of the Founding Fathers, the runaway slaves, the suffragettes, the Freedom Riders, the thousands and thousands of soldiers and seamen and airmen--they were for all of us.  Each of us  was given the right to vote for our presidential candidate by the blood and sweat and hard work of somebody else.   (And yes, that includes rich, white, male landowners.  You think aristocrats in Colonial America got to vote for the King?  Nope.  That was one of the reasons we fought the Revolutionary War.)

Who sacrificed him or herself for my vote?  Why are you dishonoring that person by claiming that my vote will destroy the country that person fought for?

Who fought for your neighbor's right to vote?  Why are you dishonoring that person by gloating over the fact that your neighbor's candidate lost?

We are in a heap of trouble right now, but it isn't because of our government.  It is because we, as a people, have forgotten the honor and privilege it is to live in a country where not only do we get to vote, but others gave up their lives to ensure that right.

America is not over.  America is changing.  It has changed before.  It will change again.  Stasis is not found in nature and it's not found in society. It's not found in YOU, whether you are a Democrat or a Republican, and Independent or a Communist.  Change is not evil.  It is natural.

You can fight the change.  You can hurt others in your battle.  You can hurt yourself.  That's your choice.  YOUR choice.  I will not claim the blame if you hurt yourself or others as you fight against the change in our country.  

I will, however, start the kettle boiling if you'd like to come over for tea.  And cookies.  And maybe a screening of Friday.   As long as you don't pin the Apocalypse on me.