- It would have been better not to have lemonade and chocolate chip cookies for breakfast. Heartburn is not a very good writing tool.
- Is there an actual term for "psychic baby sitter one's magical mother creates from her soul to prevent goblins from snatching you?"
- Is 6000 words too many for a chapter? How many words is a chapter supposed to be? No, I will not go look it up. I. Will. Not. Go. Look. It.
- Huh. Tigers not only can swim, but they are said to be magnificent astral projectors.
- I should maybe write this longhand so I don't get distracted by the interwebs.
- Do Secret Service agents receive, like, sword training?
- Archery lessons?
- A practical guide to throwing knives?
- Is Pangaea an actual thing? Or is it just a theory?
- Are theories actual things? We just assume that the Theory of Relativity is the truth, right?
- We don't run around trying to TEST it. (Unless we are Emmett Brown.)via GIPHY
- Doesn't the Theory of Relativity have something to do with time travel?
- But then there are all the anti-mask people saying, "Are you really going to believe the CDC instead of doing your own research?"
- Which, yes, I'm going to believe the CDC because I'm an English major and my research just lead me to astral-projecting tigers.
- Not that tigers have anything to do with Covid-19. Or the CDC.
- OR DO THEY?
- Is a pangolin a cat like a tiger?
- Holy mackerel, pangolins are not even REMOTELY like tigers. At all.
- Who decided to eat pangolins?
- Then again, I would eat oysters, and oysters are basically blobs of grey jello inside sea shells.
- I wish I wasn't allergic to oysters.
- I wonder if I'm allergic to pangolins?
- People are weird, man.
Note: I did not finish Chapter Two today.
I'm sure you are shocked.
2 comments:
I swear, girl, you and I are cut from the same weird cloth, all stripes, polka-dots, and bright orange paisleys all over the place. Yet, somehow we make it work!
I like pangolins, but not to eat.
Astral tigers... sounds like a rock band to me. Also might explain a few things, like the feline zoomies we are graced with every morning around 2:00 a.m. A.M. Dang cats.
Theories are just truth in drag. Ok, not all theories, because when I was a kid, one of my buddies had a theory we could tunnel under the yards and create a secret passage to each other's house. We didn't manage a tunnel, but the hole my father fell into while mowing the yard came up to his waist and made him mad as hell. It was a DEEEEEP hole. Also, we just threw the dirt in various directions, so filling in said hole was not an easy task. Which is why there is an underground cairn of large stones buried in the back yard of my childhood home.
Oysters I can understand trying, but who in the hell thought it would be tasty to eat snails? I mean, just the thought of harvesting them makes me gag.
I love your blog.
Heather, daughter of my heart. You are a wonderful writer. Do not give up on writing a novel. You just get distracted. I'm heading toward 32,000 words on mine because of you. I challenge you to finish Chapter 2 and go onto three...by Friday.
Love you and remarkable ability to write marvelous blogs and stuff.
Mom
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