Decisions, Decisions

Once again, the confines of mothering and working and yelling at the TV because of the baseball game cramping my Terra Nova style leave me with 29 minutes to get my blog on.  In?  Whatevs.  The only problem is that I can't figure out what I really want to write about.

Here's what I'm thinking:

1. Sooooo, Herman Cain likens himself to Moses.  Moses?  Really?  Herman Cain's going to lead a group of folks to freedom?  Freedom from what?  An endless baseball season?  Too many silly band varieties?    The horrors of a Footloose remake?    I'm not trying to be ugly, but I'm not sure that the ills of America, although, you know, ill and stuff, really compare with bringing plagues to Egypt in order to free an entire ethnic group from slavery and then leading said group into the promised land.  Plus, what are you going to do for manna, Hermain Cain?  Pizza?  Bread sticks?  (Herman Cain makes my skin crawl.)
2. Also making my skin crawl?  Joe the Plumber running for Congress.  Perhaps THIS is what Herman Cain is meant to lead us from.  Or, no...wait.  Maybe he's supposed to lead all of the eejits who think they are qualified to be representatives of the people into the desert.  (Yes, I realize this means that we're going to be missing a gigantic chunk of our government soon.  I'm counting on Olympia Snowe to lead us on...)
3. Speaking of Olympia Snowe, why are my grey hairs curly?  I have about six now and they're all, "Hey, let's stand out even more by being all sproingy whereas the rest of your hair is flat as a board."  No, grey hairs.  Let's not.
4. I didn't think it was possible, but I've officially reached a point where eating another of V's barbecue sandwiches is enough to make me feel queasy.  I think I've had seventeen.  All topped with blue-cheese cole slaw.
5. Why do so many Dutch foods call for cabbage or potatoes or apples?  Is it a food storage thing, do you reckon?  
6. I actually only know, like, two recipes that call for this, which makes them the majority of my Dutch recipes.  Oma's boterkoek calls for none of these things.  It does, however, feature ginger.
7. I've never made Oma's boterkoek.  I have, however, made Romelle's pineapple casserole, which is the bomb dot com.  It is now a holiday staple.  I probably need to make some boterkoek, just to say that I've done it.
8. I'd also like to make a cheesecake.  I've never made a cheesecake, because it seems pointlessly difficult.  Like...there are different kinds of pans and heating woes.  Cake should be easy, right?
9. Cake should be easy.
10. You know what isn't easy?  Writing a blog post every night.  But I did it.  
11. Huzzah.

I Hate Derek Dooley's Pants

There are the posts you write when you are sober:  conscientious posts, posts with heft and meaning.  These are the posts that are meant to enlighten or amuse, to ponder the deeper meanings in life, to reach out to friends in need.  They are posts you write with purpose.

Then there are the posts you write after a looooong day of hard cider and barbecue, after the Dawgs have beaten the Vols, after the kids are all in bed, and you realize that there are fifty blue million glow sticks lying around your house and it looks like you've been flash-mobbed by a bunch of club kids and you further realize that you have eaten your weight in Smarties and that you are okay with that.  These are the posts where you discover you have a sock in your pocket and that you have no idea where your cell phone is and you're pretty sure that your baked bean recipe could engender world peace.  Also, Derek Dooley needs to stop wearing pants altogether if those awful orange things are the best he has to work with.

I'll leave you to decide which sort of post this is.

If I Could Be Any Heroine In One of My Favorite Books...

I would be Harry from The Blue Sword.


The Blue Sword by Robin McKinley is my favorite book of all time.  Based vaguely (this is a subject of much argumentation and debate and scathing condemnation) of the British colonization of India, the book deals with magic and bravery and horses and swords and all kinds of yummy things revolving around a pretty awkward heroine and a crabby and--I'll be frank--hot hero.  I would want to be Harry because A:  hi, she's magic.  And B:  she has a sword that pretty much talks to her.  And C:  her HORSE.  And D:  the whole culture of the Damarians is fascinating.  I'd like to eat Damarian cheese.  I think I've told you this before, but there were a few times in my early adolescence where I would, after a particularly difficult day of being a smart, awkward kid at a very small school, sob and beg the Magic to take me away to Damar.

No.

I'm not kidding.

Teh Dorkiness, it was strong in me.

The truth is that even though it's dorky, there are certain books that I sink into and BECOME the heroine.  If she gets scared, I get scared.  If she gets angry, I get angry.  If she falls in love, I'm ready to start smooching.  Those books are the books that become Book Friends, that I recommend to you and random people on the street.

Those are the books I want to write.  At some point in time, as Gawd as my witness (please picture me silhouetted against the sunrise, having just barfed up a radish, clenching my fist)  (what?), I am going to write a book that will give some dorky little adolescent girl a place to rest and dream in.  I will give her somebody else to be when being herself is a gigantic drag.

Those somebody elses will be strong and brave and magical, it's true.  But they will also be dorky or awkward or shy, because that's my truth, too.  And there are a lot of girls out there for whom it is also the truth.

I'd be Harry, if given the choice.  But since I won't be given that choice, I'll do the next best thing and try to create a heroine who will be somebody else's Harry.

And I'll give her somebody hot to smooch, too.

(Come ON.  Dorky girls need smooching, too.)

Why Do I Blog?

This is the first of my NaBloWriMo posts.  In case you aren't in the loop, we NaBoWriMoers are writing a post every day for the entire month of October.  There's still time to join us if you want to shoot me an email at nothannah@comsouth.net.


Blogging is commonplace nowadays.  When I first started, back in 2005, it wasn't as commonplace.  There were a few "stars" already (Dooce springs to mind...), but for the most part, it was a fairly new medium.  My reasons for blogging then are not what they are now, mainly because I'M not what I was then.  Or who.  Whatever.

Let's do this in list form:

Heather's Reasons for Blogging

1. I wanted to become a rich and famous writer.  By blogging.  I know, I know...that has happened to precisely one blogger as far as I know.  BUT  I had a dream way back in 2005 that somehow, blogging would project me into the world of interviews with Oprah and book deals and maybe that 1954 black Mustang convertible with red leather seats I've coveted for decades.  Uh.  Not so much.  Of course, in the first year I was a blogger, I think I wrote sixty-two entries.  Sixty.  Two.  Not a good way to become a celebrity blogger, in case you were wondering.
2. I wanted to vent about Aspergers.  Jeffrey was diagnosed in September of 2006, several months after I started.  It was...difficult.  I felt pretty isolated in Perrydise and even, to an extent, isolated by my friemily because to put it bluntly, very few folks understood or accepted the diagnosis then.  (I don't blame them, I harbor no grudges, everybody's awesome...moving on.)  I NEEDED a place to complain and worry and blather and be afraid and this was the place.  I blathered, y'all.  OH, how I blathered.  The blathering was extensive.   In the back of my mind, I imagined a little community of Aspie moms coming together and taking over the world.  This didn't happen.  But I did make it through those awful first years of interventions and meds and meltdowns and fears and tears because of the space I'm Not Hannah gave me to vent.
3. I wanted to have friends.  Oh, my GAWD, that sounds pitiful.  But it's true.  Perrydise has not been a hotbed of social activity for me and while it's getting better (mainly because I'm sucking it up and joining society even though I stand out like a sore thumb), it has been lonely for many years for me.  Blogging gives me a whole social network at my fingertips, and by "social network," I mean friends.  I've shared pregnancies, deaths, drunken ramblings, financial worries, literary triumphs, new jobs, lost jobs--everything you share with "real life" friends--with my blogging buddies.  Many of them I connected with via NaBloWriMo.  And I love them.  I'm not kidding.  I used to feel kind of dumb about saying it, but I've been friends with these women (and a few men) for YEARS now, and I love them.   Luff.  Love them.  There have been times in my life, to be honest, when everything else was falling off the rails and just reading their stuff or writing something silly here on I'm Not Hannah has been the only thing that keeps me chugging along.  You know who you are.  I've mentioned you before.  And when I say "I luff you," I mean it in the real, deep, "you are my friend" way.  I mean, I'm not trying to get all serious in the pre-dawn hours, but you folks are important to me and if I ever get the chance to hug your necks, I will probably stand in the coffee shop clinging to you like a starfish and sobbing all over you.  That really makes you want to hug me, doesn't it?  I don't know how I'll arrange this meeting, but if we can ever find a way to make a place the middle point between Washington and Australia and Michigan and Nebraska and India and Oklahoma and West Virginia and Wisconsin and New Jersey and Georgia and Alabama and about eleventy-million other places, let's do it.  I promise I won't cling to you for more than, like, an hour.  Tops.
4. I want to be a better writer. THIS is the truth now.  This is why I still write, in fits and bursts and random tirades.  I've realized that there are two types of writing I really love:  fiction and blogging.  A few years back, I would have said "creative nonfiction," and I guess that's still true.  In any case, I know that blogging will never make me rich and famous, but I don't need it to do that any more.  I've found a new career path that is bringing me both a paycheck AND a creative outlet and so now, the pressure is off as far as making writing that thing I do to have money.  Does that make any sense?  The years of trying to find freelance work when I really just want to write a book about a teenage pirate chick or a screenplay about a nutty family at Christmas feel over and now I'm free to write what I want to write when I want to write it.  
1. At the same time (helllllooo, weird Blogger formatting...pretend this is a new paragraph, y'all), I am very aware that I want to make sure I'm turning out good work for my readers.  It's weird that at the same time I don't care about monetizing my blog, I'm also moving toward a regimented writing schedule and topics and whathaveyou and considering a Facebook page for readers.  I don't really understand how these things are coming together in my head this way, but I'm just going to go with it.  I blame it on being a Gemini.  We're weird, y'all.

In a nutshell, I blog because blogging lets me be me.  It lets me write, it lets me make friends, it lets me vent my frustrations and fears.  It connects me with the world.  It allows me to show off my mad photography and design skilz.

It lets me be ME.  What does blogging do for you?  Why, my lovies, do you blog?

Pssstt....Wanna Write a Blog Post a Day for a Month?

You might have guessed by the color scheme that I am ALL ABOUT FALL these days.  It's sixty-eight degrees outside right now, which makes me want to rip off all my clothes and go skipping down the street.

But this post isn't about a potentially middle-aged lady limping around frightening the neighbors (although maybe THAT would get their attention.)  Nope, this is a heads up, my loves, because National Blog-Writing Month  is right around the corner.

What's this NaBloWriMo, you say?  (Except for those of you who have been hanging around the NaBloWriMo water cooler with me for a few years now...y'all go ahead and file your fingernails or organize your CDs or bake a lime chiffon pie for a second.)  Well, a few years ago, the incomparable Miz Amy decided that NaNoWriMo shouldn't have all the fun and she started this here festival of bloggy goodness.  The idea is simple:  every day, for a month, you write a blog post.  Any blog post.  You can blog about anything you want: your hubs, your kids, that weird lady who smells the bananas in Hell-Mart...really, the possibilities are endless.  The only catch is that, for the entire month of October, you write an entry every single day.

Is this challenging?  Why, yes.  Yes, it is.  A couple of times last year, my entries were pretty much:  "I'm tired.  The kids are driving me crazy.  I can't find my tea mug."  It was inspiring, I tell you.  And, in fact, there have been years when I DIDN'T write every day.  The whole point of NaBloWriMo is to increase your posting, but we don't exactly come out with sticks and beat you with them if you miss a day or two.

Now, I say the whole point of NaBloWriMo is to increase posting, and that's true enough.  But can I tell you a secret?  The BEST part of it, for me, is meeting new folks and catching up with old friends.  I don't visit blogs like I used to, but I try to make it a point, in October, to visit all of the blogs I can every day.  In fact, one thing I realized while I was writing this is that, somehow, NaBloWriMo has come to mean Autumn to me and has settled itself in snuggly as a part of Visiting Season.

I'M SO EXCITED!!!!!

Ahem.

I've been chatting with a few of y'all about changing things up a little for this year.  Here's what I've got so far:

• We'll be offering the option to categorize yourself this year.  I'll be coming up with the categories based on who signs up.  You WON'T be forced to enter a category.  If you don't want to be pigeon-holed, we are all about you following your bliss, man.  
• We'll be putting up a prompt every day.  This was a sporadic feature last year, but THIS year, I'm gonna look to you guys for some suggestions.  So start sending them in, yo!
• We're considering doing some prizes this year.  Of course, the prizes will come from...uh...US, so if you're craftily inclined or you have some great talent or product you'd like to share with us, let me know.  For example, I might offer up a header redesign with matching background for your blog.  Or I'll edit some of your snapshots.  Or crochet you a groovy scarf.  The prizes might be random and they might be specifically for things like:  funniest post, most thought-provoking post, et cetera.  

Okay, so are you ready?  Are you set?  Here's what you do:

Shoot me an email at nothannah@comsouth.net with the subject line NaBloWriMo Entry.  In the body of your email, tell me your name, the name of your blog, and the category you feel best describes your blog.  (If you so choose, man.)  If the spirit moves you, include a prompt or two.  If you feel like you might be able to contribute a prize, let me know.  (BTW, vendors who contribute will be able to put up a button on the NaBloWriMo site.)  The deadline for entries is Friday, September 30th.  

In a couple of days, I'll have some buttons you can use on your blog to announce your participation and hopefully spread the news.  We grew by leaps and bounds last year, and I'm hoping to break a hundred participants this year.  Well, not break them.

I've already told y'all, this is a violence-free event.  

I mean, we'd like to have a hundred participants.  

You knew that, didn't you?

Yay!